Your loved one lives in a memory care unit or assisted living during the coronavirus pandemic and this has meant months of isolation, and a total absence of visits for what seems like a very long time. Visits are finally a possibility, but they are limited in their scope and intimacy. How can you redeem the precious lost time and make the most of each visit?

We Are All in This Together

First, remember that the staff and management at your loved one’s community are just as disturbed by all of this as you are. No one really knows how to do assisted living well without frequent family involvement—in fact, we are all pretty sure it can’t be done! In so far as you can, be patient with the state-imposed rules, and the staff who are required to enforce them— know that the facility is just as distressed about these limitations as you are.

You Create the New “Normal”

Realize that your loved one will accept, adapt and adjust to your normal. If you treat social distancing and mask-wearing as “normal” your loved one will follow your lead.  Just go with it; attempts to explain these measures to a loved one with cognitive limitations will likely be both futile and frustrating. Offer a brief, simple explanation if they ask, and move on to a more fun topic.

Use Additional Visual Cues When Communicating With Your Loved One While Wearing Your Mask

It is estimated that nearly 80% of communication is non-verbal, and certainly our facial expressions are a big part of this. With your mask on, your loved one will be looking for other non-verbals to be able to read your intent and emotions. Make sure your body position is open and accepting, and practice smiling with your eyes!

Bring a Little Happy to Make it Special

Adding a focal point to visits can be important, and can limit the awkwardness of not touching, hugging and kissing, if that is your normal relationship expression. Some visitors may bring a milkshake or another treat for the resident. Outside visits can also involve a well-behaved pet as a distraction (check with your community first about both of these options). Bring something to do, or read, or play—just keep social distancing requirements in mind.

Make a Loose Plan to Maximize Your Time

And finally, keep your visits brief. Your loved one in assisted living does not need a long visit, but rather a happy one. Have a bit of a plan; greet, reassure, engage, play for a few minutes, reassure again, and let them know you will be back soon. Keep the goodbye short and light. At the end of the day, happiness is all about hope. 

Remember…

Enjoy these visits; the pandemic has taught us all how precious these moments are!

One cannot emphasize enough the importance of finding the appropriate Memory Care setting after a dementia diagnosis but BEFORE physical and emotional setbacks complicate and limit your loved one’s long term care options and quality of life! Visit maplecottagetn.com for a quality memory care option in Hendersonville, TN.